Our Hearts are Forever Broken

Love leaves precious memories. I have no words tonight, only heartache.

Yesterday, I took our sweet Benjamin to the hospital for the second time this week. He had been sick after chewing up part of a pillow from a cat bed. We were unaware of just how much he had ingested, but he thankfully, threw up, as well as passed, some of the pillow contents. Sadly, he began vomiting after having eaten his meal, so we took Benjamin to the vet on Monday where x-rays were taken and fluids were administered – he was quite dehydrated. As nothing was found on the x-rays, and his bloodwork was good, medication to alleviate his nausea was prescribed which would hopefully, enable Benjamin to begin eating once again. Sadly, he continued to refuse his meals and subsequently, he lost quite a bit of weight. I continued to run fluids while constantly monitoring his vitals.

As there still was no sign of improvement, Benjamin was taken to the hospital again yesterday, whereupon, a second set of x-rays were performed which now revealed a blockage. Benjamin immediately went into surgery and the vet felt confidently, that all had gone well. Benjamin was released to return home at the end of the day. We got him comfortably settled into the home office and monitored him closely as he rested. A couple of hours later, as I was talking to him, holding his head across my lap, Benjamin, unexpectedly, but peacefully, transitioned to Rainbow Bridge.

And, there’s more.

Most of you are aware that Gabe has been fighting COPD ever since he arrived at Beauty’s Haven three years ago. Against all odds, we were able to get his COPD under control to a degree where he was comfortable. A few months ago, however, Gabe’s condition worsened, so our last hope was to send him to a foster home where there would be less dust. While there, Gabe initially was so much better, but he recently started to take a dive. Our care team determined that Gabe was at the point where his quality of life was just not where it should be and would only further deteriorate. We made the sad and painful decision to release him from his pain and yesterday morning. Surrounded by those who loved him dearly, our beloved Gabe peacefully transitioned to Rainbow Bridge.

/by

Komanchee

This little pony was loved beyond measure. He was up there in age but he still had spunk and was very opinionated at times. He did appreciate the love and care he received from all of us humans here.

Komanchee now runs with his BFF, Mary, a sweet Arabian mare who went to Rainbow Bridge in 2015. He will be missed not just by me and Bob and our family, but also by our wonderful volunteers that also doted on him.

Much gratitude to Sylvie Chiasson Beland for loving and sponsoring Komanchee, always making sure he had everything he needed. She loved him dearly too.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by

Our Beloved Chloe

‘To place your horse’s need for you to let her leave her failing body above your need to keep her with you – that – is the greatest and purest love.” ~ Cynthia Garrett

These past few months have been really hard for us and yesterday was no exception. I will go into additional details within the next few days, but I felt I should get this message out as I know there are many others who care about Chloe.

Chloe was a nurse mare foal who came to us at only a few days old, in April 2006. Her conformation wasn’t the best, and, as she grew, her legs didn’t seem to be able to keep up with her large frame, plus, she was toed in. I remember sitting at the barn, watching her, and telling Bob that I was concerned that her conformation would become an issue later in life. I prayed I was wrong.

Chloe became lame a few years ago and was diagnosed with sesamoiditis in both front fetlocks due to her conformation. With supplements, shoes, injections, etc., we managed to keep her comfortable. Over time, her right knee became an issue which progressively worsened.

We knew that someday, her quality of life would become an issue and we would need to do the right thing at that time.

We had reached the point where her care team, including her vets and farrier, agreed there was nothing more we could do and it was time to let her go. On Wednesday, at 4:10 pm, Chloe went to Rainbow Bridge.

My heart has been shattered so many times over the past year. Losing Beauty, my heart horse and the namesake of Beauty’s Haven, in November, took the breath out of me and knocked me to my knees. I still haven’t recovered. Now, losing Chloe, shatters my heart even more. My only consolation is that she no longer is in pain and is on this side of Rainbow Bridge, where Beauty leads the rest of our herd, awaiting the arrival of the many humans who love them dearly.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by
, ,

Rosie’s Story

If you would like to view a video of Rosie’s Story, please click on the image above.

I apologize for taking so long to post this update, but I wanted to wait until Rosie was back here at the rescue, plus, I have been quite sick with the flu. The post is a bit long, but it’s Rosie’s story.

The evening I met Rosie, she had been down on the ground for several hours. Jessica and I responded to the call and when we arrived, my heart skipped a beat – it was almost as if I was looking at Betsy Rose, a very special pony who came to us in 2013. Betsy’s story can be found on our BLOG by clicking here. Betsy Rose, like Rosie, was thin, weak, dehydrated and unable to get up.

We assessed the situation and then rolled Rosie over onto her other side and waited for Dr. Stephanie, the vet, to arrive. We knew Rosie’s odds were not great, but we also knew she deserved a chance. I sat and talked to her and promised her that we would do our best and try to make all of her tomorrows everything her past should have been, and that there were many wonderful people sending good thoughts and prayers to her. Once the vet arrived, she tried to run IV fluids, but since Rosie had a thick Cushing’s coat, the weather was getting bad and it was quite dark, trying to find a vein was most challenging. We, thereby, opted to roll Rosie onto a tarp, get her into the trailer, and take her to the rescue which was less than five minutes away. Time was of the essence – her heart and respiration rates were up but her temperature was going down. I stayed with Rosie in the trailer and once at the rescue, we immediately, went to work – her neck was shaved and after a round of IV fluids, we rolled her over into the sling and got her to stand. She was given a second round of IV fluids that also contained vitamins and minerals.

We massaged Rosie’s legs and hips and gave her time to adjust. Once she was steady, we removed the sling and she let us know that she was hungry which was a good sign. We offered her a mash and she literally dove into it – it made me very sad to see how very famished she was. She would have loved to have had more mash, but we had to take it slow – a re-feeding protocol must be followed. We were afraid to give her hay because she could have choked – her teeth were bad which would be addressed once she was stable. Rosie drank, passed manure and urine, and perked up. She didn’t show signs of pain and while her heart and respiration rates were still above normal, they were better. She actually looked like she had a smile on her face. That night, Frodo stayed across the aisle way from her and they struck up a conversation – she had a friend. I also put Freckles, Betsy Rose’s best friend, in the stall with Rosie and shared some of Betsy’s story with her. It had been a long day and we headed home at about midnight. We went down and checked on Rosie every few hours, in addition to monitoring her via cameras. Every time she heard one of us, she’d nicker which made my heart feel so good. The night was calm, thankfully.

The next day, when I took Rosie out for a walk, she was stiff, but she got better as we walked. Like Betsy Rose, the first time Rosie went out and stepped upon grass, her head immediately, went down in order to graze! Once back in the stall, I brushed her and was able to get dried and caked manure out of her tail and off her legs. I think it made her feel so much better. Kathy was volunteering that day and she also took Rosie for a walk. It was a very good day. overall.

That evening, it started raining, so we brought Frodo and Komanchee in and tucked them into their stalls across from Rosie. She was tired and let me know that she was ready to go into the sling for a nap. I had to wait for Bob to get home so he could help me. When we were ready to place her in the sling, it was like she’d been there, done that. Rosie parked herself where she needed to be and stood perfectly still so we could hook it up. The winches make a loud noise which can be worrisome for some horses, but not Rosie. We put a can in front of her with a blanket on top so she could rest her head and get much needed REM sleep, just as we used to do for Betsy, I sat by her head, rubbed her neck, and told her she was home now and was loved so very much.

Rosie slept and when her little ears started moving back and forth like Betsy’s used to do, it was a sign that she was in REM which is so important when the body needs to heal. When she awoke and looked at me, I can’t explain it, but for about thirty seconds, I felt like I was literally, looking into Betsy’s eyes. The peace, love, and gratitude I saw, along with an aura that was all about her, took my breath away as I sensed Betsy Rose’s loving and soothing presence. Time stood still for those thirty seconds while acceptance, peace, purpose and calm came over me – things I hadn’t felt since Beauty left us in November. I will always be grateful for those precious thirty seconds.

After we removed Rosie from her sling, she looked very much at peace. We gave her a warm mash, I kissed her little nose, and we said good-night to all. We went home at about midnight, exhausted, but feeling good about the day’s accomplishments. At 1:39 am Rosie was peacefully standing, looking towards Frodo, when suddenly, she went down, and moments thereafter, she was gone. There was no pain. There was no struggle. Her little heart just likely gave out. We were planning to have a necropsy performed, but since it could not be accomplished until the end of January, we opted to have Rosie cremated and be returned to us.

I’m grateful Rosie didn’t die on the ground, cold, and hungry. She had a stall with soft shavings, food in her tummy, heat lamps for warmth, fresh water, and a friend across the aisle. She had countless people praying and sending good thoughts to her and she got to walk and graze upon green grass. She even had Freckles camping out in her stall. I feel so blessed that we were able to give Rosie a chance, thanks to your support. and while we did our best, her little body had endured far too much, for far too long

Some have said that Rosie may have been waiting, just hanging on to go ‘home.’ Maybe her final rally was, in fact, her belief that someone would come to take her to a place where she would be assisted to go for a final walk in order to graze, a place where she would feel loving hands and caring hearts surrounding her, and hunger pains that would be no more.

I have witnessed countless horses endure unnecessary suffering while their owners were absent, or authorities turned a blind eye. And while we can’t take in every horse, we do try to help other horses in need when resources permit. Our aid may encompass providing essential resources such as hay, vet care, and other necessities, but sadly, in some cases, help comes too late. But even then, I remain by their side, offering solace and comfort until they depart upon their final journey to Rainbow Bridge. I often apologize to these horses, acknowledging the disappointment they must feel due to their humans’ negligence. I make it a point to reassure them of their worth and the love they deserve, with the promise that a better place awaits them.

It is a deeply moving experience to witness the final moments of these horses as their last bit of energy dissipates from their bodies. Some gracefully accept their fate, while others valiantly fight to cling onto life with all their remaining strength. Regardless, I am certain that they are grateful for the presence of a compassionate soul at that time. Many must have felt let down by their human counterparts, and it is a privilege to offer them solace and companionship. It is not an easy task, but I firmly believe that every horse deserves at least this level of compassion when it is their time. Unfortunately, due to the hands-on nature of our work and the amount of time it takes, we are not able to share with you all of our happenings here at the rescue, but please be assured, we stay very busy, helping all that we can while tending to our beloved little herd here.

I believe some horses that have come to us, like Savannah, Minnie, and Rosie, have held on until they arrived at a place where they felt at peace with humans who care. Their ability to hold on, and then be at peace for a short time, may very well be their final ‘rally.’ That peace may also be what enables them to let go at a time of their choosing, oftentimes, alone, in order to spare we humans the grief we feel. Based on my experiences, the short time that I spend with these horses during that final ‘rally’ connects us deeply. While it is difficult for us, it’s a choice that we make – to continue to ‘be there’ for these precious souls during their final moments. It is a gift that we can offer them only because of your support. You all make a difference and I thank you.

Rosie was cremated and her ashes have been returned and while most will be spread on the farm, some will remain with us. Rosie is now home, and forever in our hearts, right where she belongs.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by
, ,

She Brought Light & Joy Into My Heart

If you would like to view a video of Beauty in all her glory, please click on the image above.

More than twenty years ago, a neglected and abused Arabian filly brought light and joy into my life at a time when I needed it the most. In 1997, surgery to remove a tumor within my spinal cord caused nerve damage which resulted in my becoming a quadriplegic, and although my doctors stated that I would never again walk, through sheer will, determination, faith and an intense physical therapy program, I regained use of my limbs. I remain today, an incomplete quadriplegic, however, with no feeling or awareness below my neck (proprioception). In time, I thankfully, was able to return to my government job which I truly loved, but sadly, I had to retire on disability in 2000 due to issues associated with my injury. Thus began a very dark period in my life as I learned to adjust to my physical limitations.

I’ve been riding horses since I was a toddler and truly missed them. In 2002, Bob and I decided that our kids should have the opportunity to experience horses, so we scheduled them for weekly riding lessons. I didn’t tell their trainer that I wasn’t supposed to ride and during part of each lesson, I would venture out on trails on an Arabian gelding that took great care of me. I was nervous at first, I hadn’t been on a horse since before my spinal cord injury, but I was determined. It was wonderful!

One day, I got a call about an Arabian filly that was petrified of humans. She had been seized from an abusive situation and placed in a foster home, but then, she couldn’t be caught. I walked into her paddock with no demands or expectations and after a short time, she walked over and put her head down into my chest. I waited. When she lifted her head, I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and saw fear along with a reflection of hope and a longing to trust. I slowly and gently put my hand on her neck and whispered, “I’m here for you, it’s going to be ok.” She became mine that very day and I named her Beauty.

We found a barn to lease and within a few days, Beauty had settled in. Every day, I spent a lot of time with her, just hanging out. We both had much healing to do. My physical challenges never hindered our connection; rather, they strengthened our relationship. Beauty seemed to understand my struggles and offered a unique form of healing. And I understood her struggles in learning to trust. Being mentally and physically abused is not something one can just move forward from without some level of acceptance, a support system and a leap of faith.

When we were both ready, we moved on to groundwork which proved to be invaluable. Because of my physical challenges and not knowing where my legs are, I taught Beauty to respond to voice commands as my arms, hands, and legs could inadvertently send signals that could confuse any horse. She was very intelligent and caught on quickly. We were both very proud of our accomplishments and it wasn’t long before she was under saddle.

Riding Beauty gave me a sense of freedom and independence. I no longer felt confined by physical challenges, but rather empowered by her strength and devotion. Sometimes, we went to local parks to ride, times I’ll never forget. As every horse needs a companion, we took in a blind Appaloosa gelding that was going to be euthanized. His name was Frosty, and not long after he arrived, we decided we wanted to move to the Ocala area and in 2004, our home in Tampa sold overnight, a sign we were making the right decision. We purchased almost 18 acres in Morriston, took in more horses, and, over time, our little farm morphed into Beauty’s Haven where we have helped over 500 horses and other animals.

Beauty was injured in 2011 because of something very foolish that another human had done. It was a very stressful time. She foundered, rotating quite a bit in both front feet. We were told we might be able to keep her comfortable as a pasture pal, but she’d never be sound enough to be ridden again. In the Spring of 2015, when I went out to ride another horse, Beauty came over and gave me that look – I saddled her up and we took a nice walk around the property! It made us both truly happy. Over the years, she would have founder flare ups, but we worked through them. In late 2015, she was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease. In 2018 she was diagnosed with Temporohyoid Osteoarthropathy (THO), and in 2020, Insulin Resistant (IR) / Equine Metabolic Syndrome (EMS). She was a tough and determined mare and her spirit never wavered.

She moved into the barn area as it was very important that we manage her IR which can be quite challenging. Frodo, a mini, that took an indirect lightning strike a few years ago which left him neurologically impaired, became her sidekick. We opened up the birthing stall which enabled Beauty to maneuver better, while Frodo had a stall across from her. Beauty wanted us to think she didn’t care much for Frodo, but the moment he got out of her sight, she’d whinny for him. It went both ways.

On Monday, last week, Beauty didn’t greet me at the gate with her lively morning whinny. She didn’t finish all of her breakfast, which was very odd. Dr. Staples came that day to do some trims and while she was here, she examined Beauty. Beauty didn’t have a temperature, but she did have a lot of gut sounds. She was given Banamine and thankfully, she was better by evening and even ate her meals. However, the next day, Tuesday, she just wasn’t herself, having little desire to eat. I took her temperature and it was 103.1. I called a vet out to examine her once again, and to do bloodwork.

The next morning, Wednesday, the vet called and said bloodwork indicated that she had hyperlipidemia and should go to a hospital. I called EMCO and took her there immediately. Pulling out of the driveway, and all the way down our road, Beauty and Frodo kept calling out for one another which simply, broke my heart.

When we arrived at the hospital, the staff went right to work examining Beauty, performing blood tests etc., as well as an ultrasound, to see if there was a blockage, but there was no clear definition of what was wrong. They put her on an IV drip and got her comfortable in a stall where she laid down to rest. She refused to eat but she did drink water.

The next day, Thursday, more tests were performed and she appeared a bit brighter and her bloodwork had improved. I hung out her with in the morning and Jenny went in the afternoon. Beauty only passed a small amount of manure, but she was nibbling on hay and drinking water. The plan was to give her another day to see if she improved and then regroup.

When we arrived at the hospital on Friday morning (Jenny was with me), we learned Beauty’s bloodwork results were even better. We took her out to a small paddock where she could relax, graze, and walk around. I hugged her, took the lead rope off, and told her she was free to go. Then, she gave me the most beautiful gift – for the first time in two years, she trotted out and did some of her Arabian dance moves and appeared as sound as any horse could be! Jenny said it was the biggest smile she’d seen on me in a long time. Beauty also passed manure a few times which was encouraging. We didn’t let her overdo it and tucked her back into her stall for the evening, but it sure felt good to see her feeling well enough to “dance”. When we left her in her stall, she was munching on hay.

The next morning, Saturday, Beauty was being ultra-sounded again by two veterinarians when we arrived at the hospital. They saw something of concern (tumor, abscess, etc.) but there was no way to know what it was without doing surgery. We talked about options, pros, cons, risks, etc. and really, the only choices we had were to do surgery to remove the tumor or abscess or to euthanize her. We opted for surgery.

We took Beauty for a walk while the staff prepared for surgery. I buried my face into her mane and cried. While looking at video that was taken at that time, I saw that Beauty shed a tear too. When it was time, she walked tall, proud, and steady from her stall to the operating area. I hugged and kissed her and breathed in her smell (she was the best aromatherapy) before she entered the prep room and assured her that we would be there waiting for her. I told her many times what she already knew, that I loved her dearly.

During surgery a large tumor was discovered. It wasn’t attached to any of her organs, but it went from one side of her abdominal cavity to the other. There was simply no way the surgeon could have removed it. Parts of it had gone necrotic – it would have only been a matter of time before Beauty would have gone septic. We went in to be with her and I held her as she went to Rainbow Bridge. I knew the very second that she was gone – my heart skipped a few beats, it was hard to breathe, and the world seemed so very far away.

Life had kind of come full circle – many years ago, surgery to a remove a tumor from inside my spinal cord led me back to horses, which led me to Beauty. And now, a tumor that appeared partially wrapped around her spine has taken her away from me.

Beauty was a once in a lifetime horse and I am beyond blessed to have been given the years that I had with her. The bond we shared transcended words and created a language of love and trust that only we could understand. Her gentle soul, unwavering presence, devotion, and her ability to sense my needs made her truly extraordinary. Together, we embraced challenges with courage and determination – we believed in each other and we never gave up.

While some of Beauty’s ashes will be spread over Beauty’s Haven, some will stay with me forever, but her spirit will forever be beside me. I know she will help guide me as we continue what we started together – helping those that are unable to help themselves. Her legacy will continue to live on in all the horses who enter through our gates seeking a second chance at life, a life that begins, again.

Beauty is gone from this earth and it hurts more than I can say. But as I sat with Frodo one night last week with tears falling, he suddenly perked up and let out a whinny. I could smell Beauty close by as a feeling of peace came over me, and, in my head and heart, I heard a whisper, “I’m here for you, it’s going to be okay.”

Thank you all for your prayers and good thoughts. I appreciate them, very much.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by

Our Beloved Beauty

“When we think of those companions who traveled by our side down life’s road. let us not say with sadness that they left us behind. but rather say with gentle gratitude that they once were with us.”
~ Author Unknown

It is with heavy heart to inform you that our beloved Beauty, the heart and soul of Beauty’s Haven, has sadly transitioned to Rainbow Bridge due to an inoperable tumor. We are all beyond devastated and are grieving deeply.

Please keep the entire Beauty’s Haven family in your prayers.

/by

Nadia and Venus, Together Again

Nadia has had DLSD for a long time and we have worked with traditional vets, a great farrier, and holistic vet over the years to try to keep her comfortable. But she has grown more uncomfortable over the past few weeks, and over the past couple of days she has made it clear to me that she’s tired.

Upon consultation with the vet, and what I had already felt deeply in my heart, we made the decision to help our beautiful Nadia reunite not only with her beloved Venus, but with all of her other friends who have crossed before her and are now galloping happily with the Heavenly Herd. They shall all remain forever in our hearts.

To view a video of our two beautiful Arabian mares, CLICK HERE.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by

Godspeed, Beautiful Oasis

Last evening, Avie discovered Oasis down and cast in his shelter. She contacted me over the radio and I immediately responded. When I saw him, I knew it was very bad. I called the vet and administered IV medications as instructed, to aid Oasis until the vet arrived. He was able to get up but would immediately go down – he was in excruciating pain. While waiting for Dr. Madera to arrive, Bob prepared the trailer in order to transport Oasis to the hospital.

Once Dr. Madera arrived and assessed Oasis, however, she confirmed what my heart already knew – it was time to let him go.

Oasis, an elegant and proud eighteen year-old Arabian, loved life and made many humans laugh with his antics. He has always been healthy and as he had a strong heart, it took much longer than the norm for the medication to take effect, which would help him to peacefully transition to Rainbow Bridge. However, the longer transition did make it very hard on us humans. The entire time, his best friend, Mo, together with myself, Bob, and Dr. Madera, remained by Oasis’ side.

Our beloved Oasis is now majestically galloping at Rainbow Bridge with all the other members of our herd that have gone before him. He leaves behind all who loved him dearly, especially Mo and his entire Beauty’s Haven family who are beyond devastated. He had a very special place in my heart and always will.

Oasis will truly be missed and his heartbreaking departure leaves an irreplaceable void. Please keep Mo, and all of us here at Beauty’s Haven, in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you, as always, for your love and support.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by

We Named her Minnie

Minnie (aka Molly) had a good evening. She walked her fence line and was interested in others on the farm, especially the little minis on the hill.

She loved her alfalfa. She got a soupy mash every three hours through the night which she loved. She had even started to give a little bray when she saw us approaching with a meal.

She passed poop four times through the night after each meal. She was fed at around 5am and she seemed fine.

When I went back out just after 7am, she was gone.

There was a fresh pile of poop. No signs of a struggle. I am still in shock.

The vet said it could have been her heart, a clot, or perhaps an acute colic.

The only comfort I can find is that she finally knew what it was like to not be hungry, to have no demands placed on her. There were no expectations of her here, just a simple life surrounded by love. And she was truly loved.

Thank you all for caring about this very sweet mule.

My heart is simply broken.

Theresa

/by

Grief is the price we pay for love

Early last evening our beloved Ruby went down, and sadly did not attempt to get up. She was very peaceful and did not appear to be in pain. As we were awaiting the arrival of the veterinarian, we placed a pillow beneath her head and took the canopy out of the storage shed to shield her from the falling rain. I sat and softly talked with her about many things. Even though she appeared to be fine all day, I feared that this could be her time to leave us.

Then at 8:33 pm, while cradled in my arms, our beloved Ruby peacefully transitioned to Rainbow Bridge.

What a joyous reunion it must have been as Cookie and all of her other old friends greeted Ruby at Rainbow Bridge, but it sure leaves a big hole in the hearts of everyone in our Beauty’s Haven family. Ruby was such a very special mare, at approximately 30 years of age she was a very wise old soul. She had been with us for many years, and knew that we all loved her beyond measure.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers during this most devastating time.

Grief is truly the price we pay for love.

Sincerely,
Theresa

/by